Back in April, Shirley Vernae Williams — a 39-year-old entrepreneur based in New York — shared a personal journey that quickly went viral: she had spent $10,000 on a dating coach. But what began as a bold investment in her love life eventually grew into a $12,000 experience that completely reshaped how she dated, how she understood herself, and how she approached relationships.
Many people were shocked. Some were skeptical. A few applauded her decision. But underneath the headlines and social media chatter lies a deeper story about how one woman took control of her love life not through dating apps or chance encounters, but by consciously choosing to rewire how she approached intimacy, boundaries, and partnership.
And in the end, it worked. Williams didn’t just find someone to date — she found her fiancé.
The Decision to Seek Help
Like many women navigating modern dating, Shirley was tired. Not just of dating apps, but of emotionally exhausting relationships, situationships, and the cycle of confusion and disappointment that came with trying to make things work without clarity or emotional alignment.
Rather than chalk it up to bad luck or give up altogether, she decided to try something radically different: invest in professional help.
Her journey began with a program called “Get Your Guy” — a structured coaching experience designed to help women understand their patterns, heal past wounds, and prepare emotionally for healthy, aligned relationships.
In Shirley’s own words, the program helped her “get clear on [her] patterns, rewire how [she] dated, and build a stronger relationship with [herself].”
What the $12,000 Paid For
After beginning with “Get Your Guy,” Shirley later joined a second coaching program titled “Get Your Ring.” The two programs together totaled $12,000, a significant amount by any measure.
But this wasn’t just casual coaching. The programs offered:
Weekly one-on-one coaching calls Group Zoom sessions Real-time support through voice notes 24/7 access via communication platforms like Voxer A private online community of other women on the same journey Learning modules, mindset work, and journaling assignments Structured guidance on how to date intentionally and without burnout
These weren’t just dating tips. They were deep, personal strategies for emotional development — about how to open up, set boundaries, flirt confidently, and choose potential partners based not on chemistry alone, but on shared values and emotional availability.
Meeting Her Fiancé
What happened next was unexpected — even for Shirley.
Just two months after starting the program, she met the man who would become her fiancé.
But as she’s quick to point out, the coaching didn’t “magically” make someone appear. It changed her. It helped her recognize red flags earlier. It gave her the tools to identify someone truly compatible. And most of all, it gave her the confidence to show up as her full self — without shrinking, pretending, or playing games.
The man she met responded to that version of her. The version who had done the work.
Dating Coaching as Emotional Growth
For many people, dating is viewed as something you just “figure out.” But Shirley’s story shows that dating — just like career success, fitness, or mental health — sometimes needs guidance.
The rise of dating coaches isn’t just a trend. It reflects a shift in how people are approaching relationships: with more awareness, more emotional intelligence, and more structure. Especially for women of color, like Shirley, the dating landscape can be layered with cultural expectations and emotional labor that typical advice columns don’t address.
By working with coaches who understood that experience, Shirley was able to navigate love in a way that was culturally informed, emotionally grounded, and deeply personal.
Not Everyone Gets It — And That’s Okay
As Shirley’s story made the rounds online, reactions were mixed.
Some people applauded her bravery and her commitment to herself. Others criticized the cost, saying she could’ve invested the money in therapy, travel, or financial assets. Some simply didn’t understand why anyone would pay that much to learn how to date.
But for Shirley, the return on investment was clear. It wasn’t just about finding a partner. It was about transforming how she saw herself — about choosing not to settle, about asking for what she wanted without fear, and about building the confidence to hold space for a real partnership.
The Bigger Picture
What Shirley did is becoming more common.
Across the world, more and more people — especially women — are looking for more than just surface-level dating advice. They’re asking harder questions: What patterns do I repeat? Why do I attract emotionally unavailable people? How can I stop performing and start showing up authentically?
Dating coaches, when they’re trained, intentional, and emotionally attuned, can offer real support. They can help people slow down, focus, and date with purpose instead of exhaustion.
Shirley Vernae Williams didn’t just spend $12,000 to “get a guy.” She spent it to get clear on who she is, what she deserves, and how to create space for the kind of love she had always hoped for.
And for her — that investment changed everything.